Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

[privatematter]

WHO Shannon Vaughn (privatematter), Eli Delacroix (aspectional).
WHAT Eli is an idiot; Shannon is curious. How exactly does D/s go down when you're not to the Having Sex stage in the relationship yet?
WHEN Late 1990. Seven months after Jumpscapades.
WHERE Shannon's place.

Shannon was anxious. Not in a bad way, but the anticipatory way that everyone got when something new and exciting was going up and there was no way it could go badly, but predicting the end outcome was almost impossible. It was a great feeling, but one that left Shannon feeling like a teen heading out to prom instead of a grown man getting ready to have fun with his boyfriend and potentially make some hilariously heartfelt gestures to express his trust in Eli. That was probably something he didn't do enough in general, actually.

Breakfast had been something simple. Pancakes, fresh cut fruit and sausage. Eli had come over pretty early to get ready, talking over the generalities of what they were going to do while the specifics were to wait for after they were done. Well, now they were done and sitting on the couch, and Shannon's leg was jiggling even under the hand he had placed on his knee to keep himself still. Lacey had wandered off after breakfast, stomach filled with her own food and presumably was napping on the foot of the bed in Shannon's room. Probably for the better, really.

"So," he said, ignoring the obvious tell he was giving off. If Eli took it for misapprehension, then Shannon was going to definitely lean over and smack him. "Where do we start?"

Comments

[privatematter]

They were watching him. Still watching, still judging, and he couldn't make straight what they must have been thinking. For his Domme to berate him so viciously and work on destroying him, there might have been a kernel of truth to his defectiveness. He certainly wouldn't appear to be someone worthy of being collared by Cross. It took a good amount of willpower not to turn away again, expression set firm in the face of an unknown number of faces before him.

When her footsteps disappeared, something caught in his throat. That was dangerous. He knew she was still moving, her gait hadn't been ready to stop when the steps had, but it took all of his concentration to catch the whisper of leather bending and rubbing along a body nearby. He was ready for the first lash, and maybe for the second, but the pain throbbed along his back in a confusing mix of stinging pain and distracting pleasure with the same rhythm as his increasingly awkward erection to the point where he couldn't help but stumble at the next lash and cry out again at the fourth. He was losing track far too easily.

[aspectional]

Her footsteps reappeared, but now as she moved, that and the sounds of the leather seemed to come from every direction. Michelle was using her powers to confuse Shannon and make everything worse for him and his lack of sight. Moving away from him and back to the table, she put down the whip and picked up a set of restraints before returning to him and grabbing his hands so that she could put the restraints on his wrists and connect them together.

Looking down, she noticed that his erection hasn't waned and reached down to grab it through his pants, rubbing and groping to make him respond. "Look at you, still hard after everything. I know you liked the whip and I bet if I had kept going, you'd be begging for more right now." Her groping turned incredibly forceful and would definitely be painful. "You don't deserve any of the pleasure both I and your Dom give you, especially not after knowing what's going on between you and Cross. Or should I say what's not going on?"

[privatematter]

There was quite a lot going on around him and only so much focus he could spare on any of it at a time. Footsteps and sounds seemingly bouncing from one spot to another without logical progress threw him off and he couldn't even anticipate his wrists being bound up until the cuffs were there and hooked together. Without his hands, he could no longer hold his balance against any sort of onslaught and that was going to make this that much tougher.

Short, panting breaths and pained noises coming unbidden. Her touch was an unexpected heaven at first, but then that too turned into something to be defended against and he couldn't help but try to curl even partially to work against the painful touch. Even in that punishment, there was a thrill tumbling through his veins and he tried to swallow it back. His shoulders shuddered strongly at the reminder of his Dom, and of his own hangups that were sitting in the way. Perhaps that was true... but no. They made each other happy in their own ways, it didn't matter that he couldn't have sex with Eli yet. It didn't matter that he was blind. He was still good and loved and not broken.

[aspectional]

That was what she wanted, to catch him off guard while she worked her way in through the cracks in his armor to break him all apart. From the motions of his body and the sounds he made, she could pick up on the fact that even while she was hurting him, he was still getting some pleasure out of the experience. Leaning forward, she placed Shannon's head on her breasts and laughed softly. "You sick little fuck, you like this. I knew you were defective, but I didn't think like this. You can't even fuck your Dom because you're a blind little straight boy who gets off on pain."

There was some confused murmuring from the crowd when she said that and smirked. Her hand moved to Shannon's chest during that and she played with his nipple, yanking and twisting it around to see if she could elicit any noises from him. "And as soon as a woman gets in your personal space, you get hard and eager like the puppy you are. You can't even stay loyal to your Dom because he happens to be a man. You definitely don't deserve him after everything you've done. Seeing you like this might convince him that you're nothing but a worthless and defective toy with a pretty face and a nice dick that he needs to get rid of."

[privatematter]

God, it was hard to block out the sound of the crowd. Even worse were the words trying to cut him into pieces and he twisted his head away when she placed it against her chest, swallowing hard against the dryness that had little to do with his temperature and everything to do with the vulnerabilities she was mercilessly throwing to the wolves. He had to keep fighting against it, had to keep going forward and resisting for the sake of his Dom, make him proud, make him happy, make sure he wouldn't leave for someone more whole or willing or capable.

He couldn't help the thready groan, a mixture of pain and pure reaction at her forceful tweaking. It certainly didn't feel right, but somewhere it felt good and at odds with even what the rest of his body was trying to tell him, and all he could do was try to clamp down on the feeling to keep it from leaking through. He wasn't broken, she was confusing him, dammit, by... by, what? Using the truth? Fuck. This wasn't right.

[aspectional]

When Shannon tried to turn his head away, Michelle kept him from doing so. He couldn't hide from this and she was going to make sure he knew it. At the sounds he made, she continued to tweak his nipple so that she could make him respond more. Her hand holding his head in place moved into his hair to distract him from being able to think.

"Don't try denying this to yourself. You know you're worthless and useless. Everyone here knows it, but you're trying so hard to lie to yourself to make you feel better. Cross deserves better than you and you know it. You're just using him because he's interested in you and you know it." She grabbed his hair and yanked on it hard. "How do you think he feels seeing you get hard for a woman, but push him away, hm? What do you think goes on his mind when you deny him your body to use for his pleasure, but sees you fuck a woman in front of him? Do you think it hurts him seeing other get what he so desires and what you deny him?"

[privatematter]

Any sort of sane man would have safeworded out of this by now. It was crazy to let himself be subjected to this with promise of even worse to come until he literally could not handle it anymore. But this wasn't about him. He was here as a monument to Cross's reputation and like hell he was going to let his Dom down just because Mistress could use some pointed words and dirty tricks. This wasn't so bad. His body was a mass of confused signals, all crying out in different ways that generally amounted to sick pleasure and they weren't helping his mind to clear at all. With that hand in his hair, he could only make a small whimper and hope it went unnoticed.

Her words were piercing, enough to make him double around in his mind to try and find the inaccuracies that should have been obvious. His Dom was right there off to the side, he could feel that heat now and place it, but he wasn't doing anything. Was he disgusted? Waiting for his sub to break so that he wouldn't have to deal with him any longer? Maybe he was waiting to see if his sub would last, could manage that much strength in the face of the onslaught. His hands were shaking in his lap. Thinking wasn't working, and all he could do was close his useless eyes as if to push the sharpened words away.

[aspectional]

Going full on into beating him down wasn't going to break Shannon and Michelle was aware of that, so she switched her tactics for a moment. Pulling him into a kiss, she stopped her torturing of his nipple to soothe it before reaching down to open up his pants again. Once she's gotten that taken care of, she pulls his dick out and wraps her hand around it, thumb lazily drawing circles around the head as she ended the kiss.

"Look at you, you're so hard right now. I bet I could make you come without doing much of anything, but where would the fun be in that? Beg for me to make you come and I will." As she said all of that, she let go of his dick and moved away from him, standing up and going back to the table to pick up a strap-on and put it on herself so that she could use it for Shannon. Murmurs from the crowd seemed to show that they approved of what she was doing and she couldn't help but smirk as she walked back over to Shannon and knelt down in front of him, watching him to gauge his response.

[privatematter]

It was an unexpected kindness, one that he couldn't even begin to process. The kiss was good and he couldn't help but respond to it in kind while ignoring the sting of the lip she had bit open before. His throat rumbled with needy exhalations, excitement building through the tension of his body and stirring up an uneasiness that he couldn't name. He wanted this, wanted it so badly that his body was beginning to ache, but there was simply no choice but to try and continue through it.

When she left, his chin dipped down to his chest while he tried to regain some semblance of himself. His shoulders were heaving with the effort of breathing through the overpowering need to begin begging, pleading for a relief that she could give him if only he would cave, and he could feel a moisture building up in his eyes even as he considered it. It wasn't worth it, he wasn't worth it, his Dom was worth more than this easy out that would only prove his sub's failures. The noises of their onlookers only made the tears begin to spill despite his best efforts, teeth clenching through strained breaths.

[aspectional]

She honestly didn't expect him to beg, but the tears were something she expect, albeit something she didn't expect until she had pushed him even further. Reaching out to grab his chin, she tilted his head up so that she could see him better and leaned forward to lick the tears from his face. She wasn't going to say anything to him yet, waiting for the right moment to strike, and she knew that actions would speak louder than words.

The action she went with was surging forward and pushing him back onto the floor, putting herself above him while he was beneath her. She tugged his pants down so that she had better access to him and rubbed the strap-on against his dick to garner a reaction from him. Michelle was painfully aware of the fact that Shannon wasn't into this, but that was the whole point, which she was going to drive home. After a moment of rubbing against him, she grabbed him and turned him around, making sure his pants were out of the way so that she could rub her strap-on against his ass, almost teasing that she was just going to fuck him right then and there with the toy.

[privatematter]

He did his best not to react to the tongue collecting the tears that were falling. Truth be told, he hadn't expected to start crying in the first place. It was a mixture of stress and the turbulent emotions she had already inspired in him, his body being far too turned around to sort out proper reactions to how he was feeling. When she pushed him backward, when he felt something long and protruding and hard against his own erection, he immediately started to squirm and his legs came up to try and protect himself. No, no, no, what was that?

Before he could really make sense of it, he was flipped over and there was something threatening to penetrate him and he really did start to panic. No, he didn't want that! His squirming intensified, but with his bound arms pinned underneath him, he had no leverage against her. "No," he said, voice rasped and surprising to even himself. Fear and panic had a way with making him forget himself, apparently.

[aspectional]

Shannon could try to fight her all he wanted, but she was definitely the stronger of the two and in a better position to stop him. Holding him down, she leaning to whisper into his ear softly. "You're pathetic. Can't even trust your Mistress to know what your limits are and breaking a rule by talking back. What I'm going to do now is punish you until you know your place."

Standing up, Michelle took off the strap-on and dropped it to the side of them before reaching down and tugging on his collar roughly. "Get back on your knees so everyone can see you and how absolutely pathetic you are. You can't even stand having a fake dick near you and yet you're trying to sub for a man. Right now, Cross is watching you and seeing how you react. Do you think that was something he approved of? It was not. You're supposed to be his sub and you can't even handle a dick against yours, not even mentioning the possibility of anal happening. What are you useful for if you wouldn't even let your Dom fuck you?"

[privatematter]

There was little choice but to sit up along with the tug and the command. He swallowed, trying to hold back the fresh trembling of his shoulders all the way down his spine. Keeping them squared after that wasn't going to happen, but his fists would still clench in rebellion and he kept his head down and away from the crowd while the rest of him was exposed. Unexpectedly, the mention of his Dom made his head tilt ever so slightly in Eli's direction, his presence like a beacon in opposition to the mass of strangers the other way around. He didn't approve? Of course he didn't. How could he approve of his sub being scared of him? He loved his Dom, so much, but what kind of sub was he if he couldn't even give himself to his Dom however he wanted?

Those tears were still coming and he closed his eyes to try and stem them. He was aching, humiliated, guilty and full of shame for his own reactions. There was a gross ball of unease roiling around in his gut with the flare of passion that had traitorously stuck around and it was going to make him sick. Even through all of this, he wanted her, the one he couldn't even trust with his discomforts, and somehow she hadn't given up on him yet when she wasn't even his Dom. He was getting all twisted around and nothing really made sense anymore, but he knew he was ashamed and knew something was absolutely wrong here. Was it him?

[aspectional]

It was obvious that she was getting to him, but he wasn't broken yet and Michelle knew that she'd have to do more to get Shannon to truly fall apart for them. Kneeling down behind him, she pressed her body up against his back while she wrapped her arms around him. "It's time for me to give you your punishment. I want you to masturbate for me, jerk yourself off for everyone to see. Show everyone that you can at least do something right."

Michelle knew that Eli's manipulation of Shannon's nerves was still in effect and that it'd be impossible for him to get himself off in this state, but Shannon wouldn't realize that with his current state of mind and she could use that to her advantage. "That's only one part of your punishment. The other part is that you're to answer my questions properly with words. Now, do you still want me?"

[privatematter]

She wanted him to... what? He found himself licking his lips, confusion evident in his body language, as he tentatively wrapped his own hand around his dick. There was no reaction, no singing or jolt of sensation or anticipation sending out sparks. He frowned, starting to work on his erection as he usually might all while nothing happened. That sick feeling grew, started to spread into his limbs and climb up into his lungs, and he kept trying. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Couldn't he even do this right?

He whimpered, breaths starting to shorten into small gasps while he tried in vain to do something. Anything. Those strangers were watching him fail at something so stupidly simple and his Dom was watching a broken sub and God yes, he still wanted her, now more than ever. She could help him. She hated him, but she might be able to help him and he needed her. "Y-yes," he said, voice still cracked and edging on desperate. "Please, Mistress."

[aspectional]

She could tell exactly when he realized that he couldn't get himself off and she smirked as she kissed the side of his face. This was good and a major step forward in making him break. Later, she was definitely going to have to thank Eli for making this easier for her. For now though, she just had to drive the blade in deeper.

"Then say it. Say that you want me, that you want to fuck me right now in front of your Dom." Michelle knew that this was difficult and she didn't urge him to speak quickly, instead being patient and waiting for Shannon to wage the war inside himself over wanting to say it or not. He was a prideful creature and she was fully aware of that and knew that his pride was going to be the reason he broke.

[privatematter]

He wouldn't stop trying. He kept working, motions almost frantic as he tried and tried to evoke a response in himself with the touches that should have been eliciting something. This wasn't going to pan out, but hell if he wasn't going to keep going until he was sore and exhausted and simply couldn't move anymore. She had told him to try and there was everything to prove in doing it, but it. wasn't. happening.

Did he want that? Did he want to disappoint his Dom so thoroughly, worse than he was already doing, for her attention and ministration? He was wearing down to the quick, and she was doing nothing but encouraging his broken behavior and it made him so angry, so grateful, so godawfully confused that the tears came even stronger than before. He wanted his Dom most, wanted the wonderful and amazing person he was, but his Dom wouldn't want him now, couldn't possibly want a sub who could do nothing for him because his body and mind refused to listen to his heart. He needed her, the one who would help him and let him come and bring this all to some kind of end.

"Please," he murmured. Some part of him hoped that his lack of volume would keep his Dom from knowing what he was about to do. He was betraying his Dom by giving himself to another, yet his Dom wouldn't want him and he needed this release and he needed her right now. "Please, I want you so badly, Mistress. Let me fuck you. Please."

[aspectional]

"Good boy," she murmured softly into his ear as she kissed his cheek again. His resolve was weakening and she knew she could push him over the edge easily with the right move and knew exactly what she could do to push him over the edge and finally shatter.

Unwrapping her arms from around him, she stood up so that she could move to kneel in front of him and grabbed his wrist to stop him. "Enough of that. We know that you're such a failure that you can't even get yourself off," she stated bluntly as she then started to open her pants. "Now what I want you to do is to put your hand down my pants, put a couple fingers inside of me, and tell me what you feel. I think even you could do something that simple, yes?"

[privatematter]

There was a slight glow inside him for the praise and he dipped his head down further to try and fight it away. He had done something right by doing something wrong and he wanted just a second more of her praise, but he couldn't imagine what he might do for her to see him fit to bestow it. When she stopped him from trying to work on himself, he flinched and waited to see what she wanted of him next.

He swallowed, fingers flexing in the air for a moment before he reached forward to do as he was ordered. His wrists were still restrained together and he placed his one free hand along her inner thigh. First with one finger and then with two, he inserted them inside of his Mistress. There was a gasp as they were quickly coated by her slickness and almost trapped inside by the eager and small walls. He moved them slow and experimental, his thumb outside starting to rub against her aroused clit in an automatic motion. "You're... you're tight, and warm," he noted, almost a bit awed. For all of her usual cool body temperature, there was still a heat inside her that was enough to make his dick twitch in imagination. "So wet, too."

[aspectional]

She was expecting the fingers inside her and prepared to hide most of her physical responses, but she did not expect for him to automatically go to her clit as well. Her breath hitched slightly at the motion before she controlled herself. It wouldn't do to lose it with just that little touch. Reaching out, she pulled Shannon's head down to rest against her breasts once more, stroking his hair gently.

"You like that, don't you? You want your dick in me instead of your fingers and you want to fuck me until you're spent and tired and unable to do anything else because you're a pathetic defect that doesn't have anything amounting to stamina." When she said that, she then adjusted his head so that she could kiss him once more, slow and sensual and lasting long enough to make the crowd murmur in appreciation at the show she was giving them. "There's one thing you didn't fuck up. You got me wet and willing to let you fuck me. Seeing you fail and fall apart was what turned me on."

[privatematter]

She was becoming soft and gentle, and his brain couldn't keep up with the whiplash of everything. She obviously hated him and yet was still treating him well for the things he was managing to get right and his breath began to hitch while he tried to hold back the tide of emotions spreading up into his throat and down to his toes. Their kiss was fantastic and he did his best not to flinch or squirm when it was obvious that the crowd was still there and watching and expecting something he didn't understand.

His fingers never truly stopped, small stutters as she petted his hair and put him down aside, working enough space to fit in a third and try to stretch out. He was out of breath and still trying, spurred on by the simple words wet and willing to let you fuck me because that was all he wanted right now. He needed it so badly, he hated her for forcing him to choose his body over his heart, and he loved her for still being there and somehow invested in his defective existence.

[aspectional]

The whiplash was on purpose to keep him unsettled mentally so he couldn't be given enough space to properly think about what was going on. At the addition of another finger, she let out a low noise and reached down to grab his hand, roughly pulling him out of her so that she could put the hand in front of her face, take the fingers that had been inside her into her mouth, and suck them clean.

Once done with that, she started to pull her pants down so that they wouldn't get in the way. Then she positioned herself so that the head of his dick was barely touching her, teasing him as to what she was going to do next. "This is your chance to prove to me that you can do something right." Michelle then pushed herself down onto Shannon's dick, enveloping it completely before she leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Now fuck me."

[privatematter]

His entire body shuddered with the relief and anticipation. Tight, wet, warm, whole and entrapping. With just a moan of pleasure, something inside of him cracked. It morphed the sound into a wretched sob, wracking his chest and body and turning his attempts to thrust into pathetic motions while his arms came up around her back and held her close. He buried his head into her chest, her breasts and collarbone, as his whole body revolted. Air wouldn't come thickly enough and tears were dropping down his face, surprising him that there was any moisture left after such an ordeal.

His mind was a whirl of indescribable thoughts and emotions, all of them turning against him and stabbing him exactly where it hurt. He had betrayed his Dom, done what he couldn't do with Eli, and he was broken. He had no sight, he had no sense, no touch or ability to inspire and no wonder she was working so hard on keeping him down. He was so worthless, unable to even finish what he had been begging for while his brain and body collapsed around him. There was nothing left but what she saw fair to give him, because surely his Dom would no longer claim him, claim the ashes that he had become where nothing else was left. He held onto her in fear and hope and despair while he could only continue to cry and let the sickness infect his veins.

[aspectional]

The moment she saw Shannon break, she stopped what she was doing and pulled him out of her. This wasn't the time for sex and only forcing him through it while he was like this would only make things worse and she honestly didn't want to permanently break him. She pulled him into a hug, cradling him like a mother would a child, and petting his hair affectionately while she spoke to him. "It's alright, sobachka. Just breathe. I'm here for you."

All during the scene, Eli had been watching what was going on with a twisted glee that was almost frightening in its intensity. He wanted to see Shannon get beaten down physically and emotionally like he had been when he was held captive by the alternate version of Shannon that had been Awoken to his Aspect. Every single time Michelle beat Shannon down a little bit more, Eli got more and more turned on to the point where he was jerking off to his boyfriend's suffering. It was Shannon's breaking down completely that pushed Eli over the edge and he came hard in his pants, the intensity of the orgasm surprising him.

Because of it, he didn't immediately rush over to Shannon and instead had to collect himself and clean his hand off before he went to Shannon's side and added himself to Michelle's hug, arms around both of them and pulling them both close to him. "It's over now. You don't have to worry about getting hurt anymore. You did so good, my clever little sub. I'm so proud of you."

[privatematter]

Once she was gone from around him, he could only sob even harder. He had fucked that up and now she was holding him and that didn't make sense. He couldn't do anything right and she was still here with a broken sub, trying to keep him from shaking apart in the wind. It felt so good, and that only intensified his shame for taking comfort from getting it wrong. No matter what he did, it wasn't coming out correctly.

Then everything fell apart even worse when that indomitable spot of heat moved. His Dom had stood from his spot and, in his own breakdown, he couldn't track where his Dom was going. When he felt his Dom by his side and trying to praise him, he merely pressed himself further against her and tried to escape it. No, he didn't deserve anyone as wonderful as his Dom, hadn't he just proven that more than anything else? He was broken and unfit for someone like Cross. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him by letting his Dom keep such a worthless sub around. "No, no, no," he murmured between his sounds and breaths and what stillness he could force the words through.