but I'm down to one last breath. [ closed ]

[substandards]

WHO Peter Hanson (substandards), Robin Blake (indominate).
WHAT gosh idek, D/s 'verse that isn't totally stupid. First time scene between in-denial!sub and totally-with-it!Dom.
WHEN About three weeks after Peter and Robin initially meet.
WHERE Peter's bachelor pad.

It was probably a poor, spur of the moment decision that had led Peter into calling Robin. He had been perfectly honest with himself when he'd tucked the card away under his mattress and determined not to think of it again, too wrapped up in his own problems to think of inconveniencing such a wonderful, gorgeous woman no matter the offer that was extended. He had his friends, he had himself, he could totally deal with the times when his brain decided to shut off his common sense for a few hours... or days...

But then he broke a dish while he had been cleaning it, stepped right in the glass, and it didn't quite seem like a bad idea to keep stepping in it, maybe pick it up and see how far it could go until he couldn't hold back a noise. When he caught himself in that spiral, Peter retreated to pluck out what bits he could from his foot and bandage it while his thoughts kept whirling around in a tizzy. He'd had the card in his hand and flipped over, phone out and dialing before he had even registered it.

"Hi, um, Ms. Blake? A-about that offer at the party... Oh, uh, I'm at 87 Surrey Hill Drive. Okay."

That was that. She was already on her way before he could even think to regret it. Now he was a bundle of nerves and pacing by the door on a clean but still-injured foot to focus himself. She was going to see him as a wreck, but probably better to see her in person and convince her it had been a mistake to call than just call her right back and plead with her not to come. That would seem desperate, right?

Comments

[indominate]

For most people, especially someone in her position, they would have forgotten the awkward guy that they met at the party and offhandedly given out their number to after three weeks. Robin didn't forget Peter Hanson and how unsure of himself he was or the subtle cues he gave off that made her interested in him in the first place. Her instincts as a Dom were sharp, especially after all her years of perfecting them to help her own sub partner, and she knew that Peter was someone who needed some guidance.

So when she got the call from him, her alarms were ringing. Something had happened to finally push him into calling her and she wasn't going to do anything else until she went over and helped him. Making sure her company would be fine without her for a while, she got to her car and drove over to the address Peter had given her over the phone. Calming herself down from the worry she had whipped herself into, she walked up to the door and knocked sharply on it before waiting for him to open the door.

[substandards]

His hand was on the doorknob immediately, but Peter hesitated. There was no one else it could be on the other end of the door and he was both afraid and excited. Some part of him was happy that Robin had actually come, while the other was berating him for pulling her away from whatever else was obviously more important than whatever momentary mire Peter had fallen into.

The knob twisted just slightly in his hand and he used it to spur himself back into action. He opened the door and was speaking almost before he could confirm who it was for certain. "I'm so sorry I called you, Ms. Blake, it was a mistake. Not that you're a mistake, of course not, but I just... made a mistake, I'm fine, as you can see. I'm hale and whole and—you actually came, which I'm not sure why you did, but I'm sorry about that," he said, one long rush of breath escaping him at the same time. Oh, but that was incredibly hard to say once he had gotten a good look at her. "U-um... about making you come all this way. For nothing, as it turns out. Just a broken dish."

[indominate]

If the phone call wasn't proof enough, Peter's response definitely would have clued her in. She listened to not only what he was saying, but how he was saying it. There was something off in his words and she was really not happy about it. The mention of a broken dish was especially worrying since she knew the downward spiral both Doms and subs could put themselves into when they didn't have someone to pull them down every once in a while.

"Peter," she started, speaking in a tone most people called her Dom voice, the one that would make any sub stop and listen to her. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder before moving closer and erasing any space there was between them. "You are going to let me in and then we are going to sit down and talk about what happened, okay? And you are to call me Robin unless I say otherwise."

[substandards]

More words had been on the tip of his tongue, more excuses and self-recriminations, a nervous energy thrumming through him as Peter tried to sort out whether he actually wanted Robin there or how ridiculous he was truly being. When she said his name so strongly, a quality to her voice he couldn't ignore, he froze.

"Okay," he said after a long moment. That closing of the gap between them, the hand on his shoulder, it had sent his mind temporarily blank. It wasn't confusion, but a brief and overwhelming moment of... of, well, he wasn't sure but it really felt like relief. He shook his head quickly and spun on his heel. Kitchen had the dining room table in it, but—oh, right, the dish still on the floor—living room would be better. He wavered a bit, a slight limp to his step, but led her to the room with hardly enough room for a sofa, coffee table, TV and a fold-out chair. All of a sudden, he didn't really know what to try and expect anymore and he gestured helplessly toward the couch. "It's not the best, but... make yourself at home, um, Robin."

[indominate]

She had always been a perceptive woman, which made her a really good Dom. It made it easy for her to notice the limp, the way he froze when she said his name, his his response when she got in close. All signs so far pointed towards a sub who needed somebody to pull him down before he went too far with his destructive tendencies. When they got to the living room, Robin strode over to him once more, but this time held him in place, one hand around his waist while the other held the back of his head gently.

"Relax," she ordered softly, keeping her body pressed against his. Despite coming from work, she was wearing a buttoned up shirt and jeans instead of a suit, which made it easier to feel the shape of her body underneath the fabric and something she was taking advantage of right now. "How did you feel when you were stepping on the broken glass? Did you not feel it, like you were numb? Or were you curious to see how much you could stand until it was too much?"

[substandards]

Whatever she was doing, the combination of touch and tone and attentiveness, it took all Peter could do in order to break eye contact. It was overwhelming and he found himself riding a shudder down his spine while he took a large breath and tried to keep his focus despite her asking him to relax. That was a pretty tall order considering what was going on in his living room that very moment; his body was already starting to transform into jelly at just her voice.

His hands came up to her shoulders, not quite gripping but attempting to separate them to give himself space to think. His weight shifted from good foot to injured, using the pain as a clarity point. "I didn't," he said, head shaking against the hand, "say that I stepped on anything. No, it's okay, nothing happened." She was spot on and that was part of the problem, too. How did she know where his mind had gone and what had happened?

[indominate]

"You didn't have to," Robin answered calmly, doing her best to keep him from pulling away from her. This was definitely going to be a tough one, not only because he had no idea what had happened, but also because he wasn't going to let her pull him down without a fight. She didn't expect it to be easy and she was always up for a fight. "You're limping from a very recent injury, you dropped a glass dish on the floor, and your tone of voice gave away that you had done something you've never experienced before."

Once she said all of that, Robin pulled away from Peter finally, taking his hands and leading him right next to the couch. "Sit down," she ordered firmly, ready to push him down if need be. He needed to have some things explained to him before they could go any further. "You were confused about how I knew what was going on. Don't deny it; I heard it in your voice. What happened to you is a common problem to Doms and subs without a partner or in your case, someone who is either actively fighting their nature or has no idea what's going on with them."

[substandards]

By the time they had reached the couch, Peter was already beginning to get a sinking feeling in his gut. He honestly couldn't tell whether it was because Robin was speaking the truth or if he was just that confused right now that it seemed plausible he really was oriented that way. Being a Dom or a sub was one of the in things nowadays, the edgey happenstance that only the fakers really spoke about like it was something super-special-awesome. Separating the wheat from the chaff was for those who knew what they were getting into, or people who were more politically-sensitive than Peter was on a whole. Wouldn't he have figured it out earlier than this?

Peter sat. He couldn't really say what it was that made him do it, other than treacherous legs or morbid curiosity in what Robin was getting at. He looked up at her, feeling the difference in balance right now: she had his hands inside of hers and was maintaining her height over him and his heart was starting to beat faster in anticipation of something. He swallowed and broke eye contact once again, but did not try to draw his hands back to himself. They were okay where they were.

"It's... It's just preference, right? There's not something weird about being D/s, that's what everyone says," he argued weakly. She made it sound like it was a disease or something. Going against nature and all that. "I'm just having an off day. That's not weird."

[indominate]

She didn't answer at first, instead moving her hands so that she could stroke the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrists with her thumbs. From the way he was responding to her even doing the smallest things, he was definitely a sub. Now he just needed to be shown that he was, which she was going to take immense pleasure in doing. Denying what he was would only end in more pain for him and she definitely didn't want that.

"It's not just a preference nor is it weird." She snapped the last word off with a hint of anger. That was definitely a sore subject with her, but it was obvious that her anger wasn't directed at him. She knew there was a misconception about D/s among the rest of the population and she knew that she'd have to teach Peter about it. "We're different. If we don't allow ourselves to fall into a mindspace that we have with the help of a partner, it starts to affect our minds negatively. Doms start becoming irritable and violent, subs start to fall in a downward spiral and harm themselves. Does that sound familiar?"

[substandards]

It was hard to deny what effect those little motions against his wrists were having. Peter shifted where he sat, placing a bit of pressure on his foot while he listened to Robin's explanation. He was just getting distracted, that was all, he needed some concentration on what she was saying if she was going to be pulling his attention this way and that with her little motions and gestures.

"What mindspace?" This all sounded rather codependent to him. Not that there was anything wrong with that sort of relationship, but it wasn't the kind of thing Peter wanted to admit to feeling. On the other hand, it was probably too late for that considering that he was being Dommed right in his living room and there was definitely a reaction going on to it. "You're talking about subspace? That's actually real? Wait, no, wait. No. Not important. I wasn't hurting myself. I didn't, Robin."

[indominate]

With her focus all on Peter, she could see how the weight of his body shifted as he put pressure on the injured foot. If it was any other situation, she'd be impressed how he was using pain to try and stop himself from being Dommed. As it was now, it was an annoyance she'd have to fix immediately.

"Yes, I am talking about subspace and it is real, as is the Dom counterpart to it." Which she was bordering on entering right now, but she wasn't going to as long as he was still nowhere near submitting. When he denied hurting himself, Robin moved to straddle him, one leg hooking under the injured one to elevate it off the ground so he couldn't put pressure on it and hurt himself more. "Don't lie to me. I saw you hurting yourself while we were talking. The way you're acting right now tells me you're a sub that's never experienced subspace and your mind is being affected by it."

[substandards]

The sound Peter made at Robin pressing herself against him to pin him down to the couch... well, it wasn't dignified. Not at all. He leaned back into the cushion, grounded foot trying to maintain purchase to keep part of himself on balance while his dislodged leg flexed and he took better stock of himself. She definitely had the advantage of leverage on him and, while he definitely had some long and gangly limbs it wasn't going to help him get out of this. Robin wasn't weak, and all of the intense scrutiny was only throwing him off further. It should have been intimidating, but he found himself admiring the tenacity and control instead and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"So you're trying to help me, is that it?" he asked. His tone had been trying to accusatory but it seemed rather uncomfortably plaintive instead. "It doesn't make sense. I'm twenty-seven, wouldn't this have come up before now? Wouldn't—I thought part of it was just that you're supposed to know."

[indominate]

At the sound Peter made, Robin only responded with a small smile. Every time he reacted to her, it was one step closer to the goal. She was going to help Peter go through this and enjoy his first time in subspace. Hands still on his wrists, she continued with the little strokes of her thumbs against his skin. After all, a good Dom worked with not only their controlling personality, but also knowing ways to help their sub lower their defense so they could be let in.

"That's why you called me," she responded with a smile. It was time for her to lessen the commanding part of her nature and let him realize that she was trying to help him out through this seemingly unorthodox way. "It's not as if you wake up one day and realizing that you're a Dom or a sub. There are people much older than you that have only just realized what they are. Yes, there are a number of people who figure it out earlier as well, but whether or not it happens at a specific time depends on the person it's happening to."

[substandards]

Every now and then, his fingers would twitch in reaction to the stimuli. It was a small thing, but it was all of the small things together that were starting to get to him. There was very little he knew about the culture of Dominants and submissives outside of pop culture, but from what Peter understood, subs were the sort who just wanted to be hurt and who would sit and take it from someone they cared about. That didn't exactly seem like the idea of a runaway romance to him.

There was no way he could deny the effect Robin was having on his slowly-crumbling walls, however. She knew how to speak and wasn't letting him poke any holes into her confidence or right to be there, and the longer she kept firm, the more he ached to simply let her win. But what happened after that?

"Even if..." He frowned, brows furrowing together as he processed what she said. "If it's like you're saying, it messes you up in the head. Even then, people still don't realize? That sounds miserable."

[indominate]

Thankfully, Robin was prepared to teach Peter about the D/s culture and how things would change for him now that he was a part of it. The fact that he didn't know much wasn't a surprise and honestly was kind of expected. Before that though, she adjusted her position so that her body was pressed against his. She wanted to see how he would react to being trapped as it would help her in the true fight for dominance against him.

"For a lot of people, it gets misdiagnosed as stress and depression," Robin answered, a hint of sadness in her voice. She had known a lot of subs and Doms who hadn't known until they had found someone they connected with and it was definitely something she wanted Peter to avoid. "It's terrible, but we're learning how to spot an emerging sub or Dom before it gets misdiagnosed and forces them to suffer for years."

[substandards]

His first reaction was to tense up against the extra contact. The idea of helping him out aside, Robin was married and even Peter was aware of this fact. It was as obvious as the bracelet around her wrist and one of the beacons to her fame was being a married working woman running a successful company. Here she was, dealing with a nobody loser she had met weeks ago at the party of a mutual friend because he was having a meltdown over a broken dish. It was all pushing him toward something, and even Peter wasn't sure what until he started to squirm. Hands rotating to free them from her grasp, he twisted his torso to try and gain some of the upper hand. Getting absolutely cornered by someone who had no place in his world, trying to help him out, was just not something he could comprehend right now.

"You make it sound—" He huffed, finally bringing his gaze back down to her to search her expression, try to find something he could use to maybe get rid of this coiling feeling in his gut. "It can't be that easy once you know the problem. Nothing's ever that easy."

[indominate]

The moment Peter started to squirm, Robin responded by staying firm, her body staying still against him and her hands tightening around his wrists to make sure her grip on them was secure. She has dealt with bigger and stronger subs than Peter and had come out on top. It wasn't going to be any different with him.

"It isn't usually that easy, no," she agreed. The expression on her face was gentle, not as if she was trying to physically force Peter to submit to her and forcibly drag him into subspace. "You have to find a Dom, in your case, to help you go into subspace for the first time. If you don't have a partner and not enough money to hire someone, it can be difficult to keep yourself from sliding back into the same spiral from the lack of entering subspace."

[substandards]

Peter stilled when he realized that he wasn't getting anywhere. Robin wasn't very petite, but the strength she had was surprising and pretty humbling besides. He took a breath, unexpectedly wavering on the exhale, and tried to let himself relax instead of staying tensed up. It wasn't easy, nor was it entirely successful, but thanks to the angle of his leg he was out of easier options to try and keep his wits about him. Accepting her offer of help in whatever way Robin could deal it out was getting more tempting by the minute as his thoughts would not stop spiraling into dismal and dark places. As his muscles lost their tension, Peter could feel something else starting to slip away with it.

"Then we're at an impasse," Peter said. "I don't have the money for this kind of thing. I don't... I don't think this is a good idea, Ms. Blake. If it's just going to happen again, I don't want to try."

[indominate]

Even once Peter stops fighting and tries to relax, Robin didn't move. She was watching him, focusing in a way that only a Dom could and that she needed right now. He was at a point that she needed to help him or things wouldn't end well for him. She wouldn't let that happen to him, the awkwardly adorable young man she met at a party by accident and was something she had yet to regret.

"I thought I told you to call me Robin, Peter." She smiled as she let go of his wrists so that she could remove the bracelet around her own, showing it to him before placing it on the cushion next to him. The bracelet was what connected her to her husband and removing that was definitely something for Peter to think about. "And I have to disagree with you. I think this is a good idea."

[substandards]

When his wrists suddenly set free, Peter wasn't quite sure what to do with them. In his current position, straddled on the couch with his back pressed into the cushion and his leg twisted at a semi-awkward angle with a very beautiful woman right up against him with all her warm curves and nice smell and—with all of that, where were his hands supposed to go? The bafflement was obvious as he eventually let them slide down to splay across the seat on either side of himself.

He made a strangled, confused noise when Robin removed her bracelet. Wasn't that like someone removing their wedding band before committing to an affair? He watched it go, then turned to stare at her while he struggled for words. "Er, Robin, I... I don't know what to say, actually. What does that mean? That thing you just did and what you just said? Both of them? Why isn't it a bad idea?"

[indominate]

"It means that no matter what, I will be here to help you. All you have to do is ask," Robin answered softly. And it was true, as long as he needed her around to help him stay afloat, she would be there for him. "I have been a Dom a long time and I have seen a lot of subs go through what you've been through. I don't want you to go to the point of no return."

Before he could get a chance to respond, Robin leaned in and kissed him on the lips. She know that being so close to a beautiful woman like herself was making him uncomfortable, so kissing him would definitely shake him up enough to get him to stop doubting himself and let him accept her help.

[substandards]

It was a strangely moving promise. Peter wasn't quite sure where someone could get such strong conviction for a stranger, no matter how much help they may have needed, but he found himself admiring it all the same. He just didn't know how to accept it, not when he was still standing (metaphorically speaking) and had enough of his mind still about him — he was ping-ponging, he knew that. Right in the last ten minutes he had flipped between almost needing her help and then wanting no part in it and no matter what he did, he just couldn't make himself pick a side.

Before he could muster up some kind of response to the generous offer, Robin kissed him. His thoughts spun off their tracks, the world tilted off its axis, and he didn't have the presence of mind to try rebuffing it. His hands flexed on the cushion, made a trip halfway to her sides, then aborted the motion; they tried moving to cup her face next, but he couldn't bring himself to initiate the contact and let them hover near her neck and jaw and curled up his fingers. Most of all, he returned the kiss with a confused hesitance. When it became obvious Robin wasn't going to let up, he pressed further into the kiss with curiosity and maybe a dose of excitement. It was incredibly easy to get lost in it, slowly winding down while his world began narrowing to a pinprick around them, no thoughts but to the body on his and the taste of her kiss. His walls had come down and now he was helpless to avoid being sucked in.

[indominate]

She had wondered how exactly he would respond to the kiss and she was pleased when he reacted well instead of badly. When he returned it and then pressed further, she responded eagerly, wanting to draw him in further as she remained in charge of the kiss and tried to overwhelm him. Her hands moved to grab his and once she had hold of them, she moved one down onto her waist while she placed the other on the side of her neck before she returned her own hands to his shoulders to keep herself stable.

Not too long after the kiss started, she pulled away to catch her breath, her face slightly flushed and a content smile her current expression. One hand reached up to stroke the side of Peter's face affectionately as she studied him carefully. "I think it's time we made ourselves more comfortable, don't you think?"

[substandards]

As the kiss died away and his hands were put somewhere safe to hold onto, Peter hummed lightly and let his head drop back to rest. That had been kind of awesome. It felt like he was standing at the edge of an ocean now, calm and deep and impossibly wide, still inside of the storm raging around him but now his feet were wet and he just wanted to dive all the way in. There was peace in there and he was starting to get the idea of it.

His head tilted to the hand resting on his cheek and he watched Robin across from him. She seemed to have enjoyed that, too, and that made him sink a little deeper. "Yeah," he said with a bit of a pleasant sigh to it. "Get comfy. You're really good at that."

[indominate]

Seeing Peter like this made her happy, so close to subspace that he could fall right in. She could already see how he was being pulled out of the darkness he was in for so long and it was a wonderful sight. Her hand stayed where it was, still petting him affectionately, while she leaned in and kissed him again for a much shorter time than before.

"You didn't do too bad yourself," Robin said when she ended the kiss, eyes on his as she kept note of every little detail to know if she was on the right track. "I could think of a better place to be than on the couch. Where's your bedroom at? We can move in there and be much more comfortably than right here."