diversified | Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

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Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

WHO Shannon Vaughn (

privatematter), Eli Delacroix (

aspectional).
WHAT Eli is an idiot; Shannon is curious. How exactly does D/s go down when you're not to the Having Sex stage in the relationship yet?
WHEN Late 1990. Seven months after Jumpscapades.
WHERE Shannon's place.

Shannon was anxious. Not in a bad way, but the anticipatory way that everyone got when something new and exciting was going up and there was no way it could go badly, but predicting the end outcome was almost impossible. It was a great feeling, but one that left Shannon feeling like a teen heading out to prom instead of a grown man getting ready to have fun with his boyfriend and potentially make some hilariously heartfelt gestures to express his trust in Eli. That was probably something he didn't do enough in general, actually.

Breakfast had been something simple. Pancakes, fresh cut fruit and sausage. Eli had come over pretty early to get ready, talking over the generalities of what they were going to do while the specifics were to wait for after they were done. Well, now they were done and sitting on the couch, and Shannon's leg was jiggling even under the hand he had placed on his knee to keep himself still. Lacey had wandered off after breakfast, stomach filled with her own food and presumably was napping on the foot of the bed in Shannon's room. Probably for the better, really.

"So," he said, ignoring the obvious tell he was giving off. If Eli took it for misapprehension, then Shannon was going to definitely lean over and smack him. "Where do we start?"

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"Patience isn't really..." Shannon trailed off, sucking in a sharp breath at the feel of Eli's hands. Only it wasn't, because Shannon was sure Eli was still sitting in front of him, hands to himself and drawing. He could hear the pencil scratches and nothing had moved. But there was still the undeniable sense that Eli was right there, holding him and Shannon dipped his head into the phantom hands while trying to process what was happening.

"Am I going crazy, or did you do something?" he asked softly. No other option presented itself. What else could it be but Eli or himself? Not that he wanted it to stop, but curiosity nudged at him like the insistent little brat that it was.

"I know it isn't, that's why we're working on it," he said with his normal soothing tone. Eli couldn't stop himself from giving a knowing little smirk at Shannon's reaction to the phantom feeling he created. It was good that he didn't seem upset about it, merely confused, since Eli could remove the confusion easily.

"It's not bad, is it?" His tone took on a teasing quality as he made one of the hands move down to his chest and curl up slightly so that he could drag the nails down his torso. "I am doing this, yes. I found a way to use my powers during the scene. You remember last time, don't you?"

Thoughts of speech leaked out of his mind as the touch continued, moved and warped into another sensation all together. He moved into it, a slight sound forming at the back of his throat, hands rattling at the bindings and chain holding them there while he tried to place his palms against the floor outside of his folded legs. It was a useless maneuver and he stilled all save for the way his fingers curled as if to hold on to the feeling as best he could. That facsimile of touch was his only grounding.

"Yes," he said after a pause. Once the words had warily poked their way back into his head. "But... but you're not touching." How could Eli do such a thing without even a single physical connection? How did his powers work? What else could he do?

Seeing Shannon respond like that was incentive to continue what he was doing. One hand ran down his arm lightly to one of Shannon's while the other just moved to rest on the other one. He smiled lightly and took a moment to look up and study him before starting to incorporate it into the drawing he had done so far.

"I can do this without touching you or even being in the same room at you," he answered easily, one ghost hand moving back up to cup the side of his face affectionately. "Touch only amplifies what I can do. I could give you a detailed explanation of my powers, but I'm sure that's not really on your mind right now when I could keep doing this."

It was definitely not on his mind to get the specifics right now. What mattered was that Eli was both here and there at the same time, attention focused on him in two different ways. One was theoretically impossible while the other was beyond his reach, and both of them warmed him in a way that his abnormal temperature couldn't begin to touch. His hand flexed, turning as if to grasp the sensation that rested there while he dipped his head into the hand at his face. He wasn't supposed to move, but how could he not when Eli was right there?

"Please," he said. "Keep doing this." They had all the time they could want, and Eli would never hide things from him. He could ask later. Right now, he simply wanted the moment to last, that feeling of care from all angles keeping him protected and safe. Nothing could touch him as long as Eli had this kind of power.

"What did you say?" His tone turned a bit serious and the hands slowly pulled away, almost feeling that they were just held slightly away from him. It was a long moment before a ghost hand touched him again, splaying across his chest above his heart. Eli's attention seemed to be only on him now, looking at him curiously. "Tell me again what you want me to do."

The ghost hand didn't move, just being a constant pressure while Eli studied him. Was that enough to push him over or were they still only on the brink looking down? If it wasn't enough, Eli knew exactly what to do and even if he was already there, this would only make things better instead of pushing him too far like last time.

Shannon made a small, keening sound of discontent when the hands moved away. Then one eventually came back and he dipped his head down, trying to take it in with the futility of perceiving something that didn't truly exist. There was no heat, no diversion of air against his skin, nothing but the weight on his chest that couldn't actually be there. It was such a soothing weight, however, because it was Eli's. He didn't want it to go away.

"Please?" he repeated, confused at why he needed to say it again. He just wanted it, wanted them, to be here and now and to have Eli fill his head. He wasn't quite to that point, but he could feel the walls breaking and he wanted to let Eli in. Wanted Eli to keep him as his own, let him exist in this space where he almost seemed to be floating. "Keep doing this. This... whatever it is. That?"

"Don't worry, I will." If Shannon wanted it to continue, then Eli was definitely going to make it continue. While that hand didn't move, the other one touched Shannon once more, now curled onto his shoulder. From his spot away from Shannon, Eli looked at him quietly, studying him carefully before he decided to speak again. "Tilt your head back for me."

The moment Shannon complies, there's a new sensation on his neck and it's not one of hands touching him, but instead it's almost as if somebody's kissing up his neck slowly and stopping at the point where he neck meets his jaw. Then the sensation changes again and it's teeth scraping lightly against his skin, almost teasing that he's going to be bitten but not actually going through with it.

There was almost no hesitation in the motion, Shannon lifting his chin just as he was told with no thought to why Eli wanted him to do so. The touch against his chest and shoulder were solid, grounding. The kisses and the teasing almost-bites were like a fire beginning to kindle inside of him. He groaned, head tipping until it was almost thrown back where he could simply rest there while the muscles in his upper torso all quivered in enjoyment.

This might have been different were Eli not in the room with him, not right there as a presence that he could still notice and place in front of him. It might have been worrying, confusing to have such a feeling and no source. Right now it was soothing, a slow and gentle exploration that made his thoughts trickle into nothing more than murmurs of keep going or don't stop, even thank you for the care and attention being so lovingly given.

The hands stayed where they were, almost as if they were making sure that the phantom feeling stayed balanced while the kisses and almost-bites moved back along Shannon's jawline to his ear where it started teasing his earlobe with teeth, Eli wanting to see how he would respond to it. He was curious about Shannon's body and wanted to do nothing more than explore every inch of it to see how he responded. While today might not be the day to explore it all, he could still learn a little bit more.

Even if Eli wasn't in the room, he would have found a way to ground him and make him feel safe. A phone or even another type of communication or contact would have been the first thing to do. It was something they would have to explore later once both of them got more settled into their roles with each other. Right now, both of them needed to be in the same room for this to work or everything would fall apart.

If Eli wanted to see responses, he would probably be surprised with this one. When the ghost touches got to Shannon's earlobe, he began to stifle laughter and tilted his head as if trying to shy away or otherwise squirm out of the touch. It tickled. Not that it was unpleasant, but kneejerk reactions were the name of the game right now and Eli probably didn't mean to start tripping up on his silly switches right now. He didn't want to mess this up by giggling Eli away.

The distraction was almost enough that he nearly didn't notice the sound of a key in the lock, the tumblers sliding away and the door creaking open. Almost. Sounds inspired by something other than himself or Eli sent a chill down his spine and he suddenly tensed up.

"Shannon, just 'cause you're blind doesn't mean you can't sign—oh my God," Matheus said, stopping upon the entrance and staring at the scene before him. Of everything Shannon had been caught doing in the years of Matheus and Javier making unannounced arrivals to his house and giving him shit for one reason or another, this was by far the most... intimate. "What the hell?"

His breaths were starting to come in short gasps, entirely unprepared for the event of... of someone else. Someone who needed him, who needed Shannon, and his head wasn't in the game but he was already trying to stand and move his hands and he couldn't help the frustrated sound at the impediments, at the fact that he couldn't even tell what they were here for. He had only heard a tone and a name and now panic was lancing through him. He should be standing up, talking, greeting them, right? But Eli had him on the floor, had him where he wanted him and he didn't know what to do but want to try and do both at the same time. It felt like an attack, something so difficult to comprehend that he was going to split. He was so far into his head, so sensitive to every little movement and motion and breath that he hardly noticed that his body was reacting where his mind was scrambling: a wave of heat shed from his body and throughout the room, touching everything for one moment before finding something to latch onto, something close and satiating, something to attack back. The heat piled onto it, set the notebook in Eli's hands aflame and fueled itself in fear and confusion. He didn't know what else to do.

If Matheus' arrival felt like an attack to Shannon, then to Eli it felt like his mind was an mirror that had been dropped on the ground and shattered into pieces. The touch vanished from Shannon and Eli couldn't even bring it back if he tried. Whatever concentration he has was shot and if he wasn't sitting down already, he would have stumbled. Instead, he dropped his sketchpad, not even noticing it had been set on fire, the flames reaching his hands and not causing damage. If lightning couldn't burn him, then fire wouldn't either.

Some shred of concentration remained and he looked at Shannon for a quick second before teleporting over to him and pulling him close. He knew what he had to do, but how could he take control of this situation when he didn't even have control of his mind? It didn't matter since Eli was going to force himself into doing it anyway. This was for Shannon, to keep him safe, as was his job as his Dom. He wouldn't fail at that.

"Hey, come on now, I've got you. There's nothing to worry about when I'm here, remember?" His voice was trying for soothing, but there was an obvious wobble in his voice that Eli was hoping Shannon wouldn't notice until later. Things would get back if he didn't pull Shannon back well enough. "Focus on me, okay? Nothing else matters, just you and me here. We're important, nothing else is. Come back to me now."

"Shit," Matheus muttered under his breath. This was all just perfect. Not only had he walked in on some BDSM between a pair of people he would have never liked to picture in that way, but one of them had obviously just tapped into something that set alarm bells off in his head. Usually he would have turned tail and beat a tactical retreat to let the two of them get their heads back on straight, but the burning book stunt was setting him on edge. So he did the best thing he could think of and closed the door as far as it would go without making too much sound and waited in the doorway.

Shannon was shuddering in Eli's hold, squirming and generally trying to kick up a fuss for no reason. He didn't want this, he didn't want this exposure boring into him from the doorway, it felt unsafe. Couldn't Eli see that? Everything was off kilter. Balance was suddenly an illusion to drag him down where the chaos simply pulled him further under. Worry was eating at his calm and turning him restless, desperate to find some kind of resolution.

"Make it stop," he pleaded into the shirt he was being held up against. His hands weren't cooperating and the angle at which Eli was holding him was making it difficult to gain any purchase on the ground or cushion with which to stand up. "Please... please, make it stop. I don't want to. It's not good."

The first thing Eli does is remove the chain connecting the restraints to each other and the belt so that Shannon could use his hands without issue. It would definitely help him calm down a little bit more while Eli tried talking to him and fighting through the haze in his mind. Letting Shannon continue to panic would only make things worse in the long run and right now, all Eli wanted to do was make sure he was safe and away from Matheus.

"I know. That's what I'm trying to do for you. Let me take you somewhere safe, okay?" His voice was trying for calm and soothing, but there was still that tremor of panic laced into his voice no matter what he tried. He pulled away slightly and positioned himself so that he could help Shannon stand. "On your feet now, nice and easy."

Glancing over at Matheus, Eli frowned and his voice changed from calm and soothing to angry and commanding. Pointing at him, he then pointed at the couch. "You, sit on the couch. Now. Deal with you later."

It was a good move to undo the restraints, as Shannon immediately moved his hands up to Eli's chest, one burying itself under his jacket and clinging to Eli's side while the other tangled itself up in the lapel and threatened never to let go. His head was pressed against the crook of Eli's neck as if to burrow inside where it was obviously the most safe. He trusted Eli, trusted his Dom so much, but this undercurrent of wrong was choking him. How was he supposed to breathe when the air had suddenly turned to ice around him?

When Eli tried to stand them up, Shannon was very difficult to move up until Eli told him what they were doing. He scrambled to obey, nearly tripping himself up, and refused to let go the entire time. There was a noticeable flinch when Eli directed his attention elsewhere for even a moment, the tone of voice sending spikes of panic into his heart. He huddled further, beginning to murmur apologies for some unknown slight. He was just scared, he didn't mean anything. Promise.

Matheus let his lips thin out into a line at the order, but knew better than to fight or kick up a fuss when Shannon was in such a terrible state. It was frightening and sent waves of shame over him while he tried to figure out what the hell was going on between those two. Eli was obviously shaken as well, and that worried him, but not as much as the smoldering sketchbook lying untended on the floor. Shannon had done that. Shannon had flown into such a panic that he'd set something on fire and that was not good. Matheus sat down on the edge of the couch and watched them for only a moment before he had to look away. God, this was fucked up.

Shannon's actions were causing Eli to go deeper into this shattered Dom mode he had access to, holding him protectively and whispering words of love and promises to protect him into his ear. Even if he had to walk like this to the bedroom, Eli didn't mind if this was something to keep his sub calm and didn't throw him into worse panic.

"Shhh, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. That wasn't directed at you," he said gently, smoothing his hair out with a hand as he started to lead him towards the bedroom. He wanted Shannon to know that he wasn't in trouble and that Eli was going to take care of him like he said he would. "Told you I'd keep you safe, so I was doing so. You don't have anything to be afraid of while I'm here with you."

It was easy to follow his Dom's footsteps. All he had to do was trust him. This wasn't a question of trust, but of confusion and being lost. That bubble of safety around them had popped so violently that it felt like there was a literal ringing in his ears and the world around him was too vivid, too loud, the air harsh against his skin. Then there was Eli, pressed up against him and everything good, warm and soft and safe. How could he not trust that?

If Eli said he hadn't done anything wrong, he believed that, but then what had happened? Someone else wanted him, someone had come to have him and his mind couldn't keep up with the demand. He was Eli's, but there was that pull at him that only set to make his thoughts more disorganized and distressing. "We're safe," he whispered, not only trying to keep it away from whatever boogeyman was there but to convince himself as well. They were safe. Because Eli was right there. Why couldn't his stupid brain listen to that?

The moment they got to the bedroom, Eli shut the door behind them and locked it, leaning against the door as he pulled Shannon closer into a tight hug. He couldn't let himself relax until Shannon calmed down, but he was relieved that there was now something between them and Matheus that was solid and physical. Maybe that would help them pull themselves together.

"Yes, we're safe," Eli murmured softly as he leaned in to kiss him, hand in his hair to try to calm him down. Hopefully Shannon would let himself calm down. "Nothing can get us. You have nothing to fear. Let me take care of you."

His mind was a haze. Good warring with bad, but Eli was right there and they were safe and nothing could get to them here. That was good. He kissed back desperately, hands tightening where one was fisted up in the strapped-down flap of Eli's jacket while the other held on to his waist. His breathing was harsh and warm, but beginning to fall into a neater rhythm, something more controlled than what it had been before.

"Please," he said softly. He didn't even notice the trembling of his body for favor of keeping himself pressed to Eli. If his Dom wanted to help, then who was he to deny? "Help me, sir."

That was definitely in the right direction to what Eli wanted for Shannon. There was some start to getting himself back under control in even a small way and that was the end goal here. Keeping him close, Eli started to steer them away from the door and over towards the bed, turning them both so that Eli would bump into the bed instead of Shannon, his scattered mind more there than Shannon was at this point and wouldn't confuse himself by doing to.

"I will help you as long as you need me to," he said as he took his hands and started removing the remaining parts of the restraints from his wrists. Once done with that, Eli starts undoing the straps of his jacket, moving Shannon away slightly so he can reach, not planning on stopping him if he wants to help. "But right now, I want you to take deep, slow breaths and to focus on me, Shannon. Can you do that for me?"

Where Eli went, Shannon followed. When they were against the bed, when the restraints were moved, Shannon didn't do much aside from roll his wrists while smoothing his hands toward the buckles of Eli's jacket. He heard his Dom undoing them and could tell where he was working; Shannon placed his own hands at one tier off and began working in the opposite direction. A task such as that helped him hone in on a single focus, the buckles and Eli and everything right in front of him only, and in that single-mindedness did his mind begin to relax.

It took a few moments for the words to truly sink in, and he belatedly took a deep breath. It had whispers of a shudder inside it, but soon it came naturally and he seemed even further calmed. "Yes sir," he said. That was late, too. He was nowhere near capable of keeping up with his own trains of thought right now.

When Shannon started helping, Eli stopped undoing the buckles and let Shannon do the work, unable to concentrate on the task right now. He was thinking about a multitude of things, but he couldn't focus on them for more than a second. It was definitely the worst times for him to be like this, not only for Shannon's sake but for his own, knowing that he was going to crash spectacularly later and that he'd be feeling the effects of this for a while after that.

His mind eventually focused back on the jacket and seeing that all the buckles were undone, Eli took it off and then placed it squarely on Shannon's shoulders. The jacket was big on him, but that didn't matter. Eli then sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing Shannon's hand and tugging it lightly to get him to follow suit. "This wasn't how I expected this to go," he said softly, not really directing it at Shannon or himself. "I'll deal with our intruder once I make sure you're taken care of."

There was a soft sigh when the jacket came around his shoulders. It was indeed big, but it had weight and scent to it, both excellent for working on tethering his mind to something solid. It was easy to follow the tug, to go along with the tide when part of him was still ready to be sick at the disquiet inside. He leaned toward Eli and fitted himself against the other man as best he could, using both the jacket and Eli himself as a sort of shield, a barricade, a protector.

"You'll take care of me," he said reassuringly. He knew that. He knew that Eli would be there for him, just as they were right now. Which obviously meant— "I'll take care of you?"

As Shannon leaned towards him, Eli gathered him up in his arms and held him close, resting his head against Shannon's. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, trying to keep everything in his head straight, but that was a losing battle. Shannon was still the focus though, so he'd stick with him until everything fell into place.

"Yeah, we take care of each other," he said with a smile in his voice. "Dom and sub, partners in every way. Always looking out for the other, even if they don't know it. I love you a lot, you know that? You're the most important person in my life."

When they came together, Shannon let himself still. All that moved was one hand reaching out, exploring the planes of Eli's torso until it located a shoulder, an arm, moved down to where it was comfortable to hold on. His own thoughts were ephemeral, impossible to take in and solidify; they were like sand crumbling away in his hands, paper dissolving in water, leaves fed to the flames. He couldn't hold on to anything except for the real world outside of him, the one keeping him still and calm when Shannon himself was lost in the storm.

"Love you too," he replied, earnest despite having no thread of the conversation. Eli had to know that. "Love you so much, I don't even... it shouldn't be, but it is. I like it, even if it doesn't fit."

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Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

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