diversified | Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

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Blessed by light and burden of shadows. [ closed ]

WHO Shannon Vaughn (

privatematter), Eli Delacroix (

aspectional).
WHAT Eli is an idiot; Shannon is curious. How exactly does D/s go down when you're not to the Having Sex stage in the relationship yet?
WHEN Late 1990. Seven months after Jumpscapades.
WHERE Shannon's place.

Shannon was anxious. Not in a bad way, but the anticipatory way that everyone got when something new and exciting was going up and there was no way it could go badly, but predicting the end outcome was almost impossible. It was a great feeling, but one that left Shannon feeling like a teen heading out to prom instead of a grown man getting ready to have fun with his boyfriend and potentially make some hilariously heartfelt gestures to express his trust in Eli. That was probably something he didn't do enough in general, actually.

Breakfast had been something simple. Pancakes, fresh cut fruit and sausage. Eli had come over pretty early to get ready, talking over the generalities of what they were going to do while the specifics were to wait for after they were done. Well, now they were done and sitting on the couch, and Shannon's leg was jiggling even under the hand he had placed on his knee to keep himself still. Lacey had wandered off after breakfast, stomach filled with her own food and presumably was napping on the foot of the bed in Shannon's room. Probably for the better, really.

"So," he said, ignoring the obvious tell he was giving off. If Eli took it for misapprehension, then Shannon was going to definitely lean over and smack him. "Where do we start?"

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His hands spasmed from the touch: the one around his Dom's leg simply held tighter as if to press the tingling touch further into his skin, while the one in the blanket began to flex and twist every now and then as if he could spread it further through the meager motion. He was panting lightly up into his Dom's ear, the expanse of his mind covered with such a layer of soothing comfort that words were impossible to find. He simply had none to give and could hardly receive them, either.

In lieu of responding to his Dom's question, he turned his head toward his Dom's neck and began placing breathy kisses against the skin there. Sometimes he broke away to merely press his forehead into the space where it just seemed to fit before he would return to it, alternating between different types of touches both for his Dom and himself.

Despite himself, Eli let out a soft moan at the touches, and lightly grabbed Shannon's hair. This was good. Actually, this was more than good and he would happily be here all day like this with Shannon, but that thought was immediately shoved away. His first priority was Shannon, not himself. It was his duty to make sure Shannon's first time wasn't a bad one.

Instead of expanding the range of the touch, he strengthened it. Now, instead of soft and gentle, it was more like firm hands running over his body, wanting to explore every bit of him as intimately as possible. Eli moved his head slightly so that he could rest it on Shannon's shoulders, eyes having stayed shut so that he didn't have to worry about sight distracting him from the current of Shannon pressed up against him.

At the increased pressure, both in his hair and across his entire torso, he gave a shuddery exhale. This was perfect. Everything in this moment was and forever would be perfect. He wanted to stay this way. His body had other plans. When he rested his head momentarily, it was as if extra weight had drifted down, making it difficult to lift his head and resume his own series of kisses. As a compromise, he slowly nuzzled at his Dom's neck and tried to say something, anything, although it only came out as an exhausted mumble though half-parted lips.

His grip had slack, and his legs were spread out on the bed too spent to try shifting anymore. Things were beginning to fade around him, a dimming of his perception that might have been the call of sleep, or perhaps something he didn't recognize. Shannon made a halfhearted whine in protest but clearly his body was too spent to stay in such a heightened state of emotion and sensitivity for much longer.

Eli nearly immediately noticed the change in Shannon. He was tiring out and that was a good thing, especially everything that had happened in this scene. Pushing him to exhaustion had been the point and he was glad that they had finally gotten to this point. He very slowly started to both weaken the touch and seem to draw the feeling as a whole back into his hand so as to not damage his nerves. His left hand moved to grab onto one of Shannon's arm so that he could twist him sideways.

"Let's get you more comfortable, shall we?" He was mostly talking to himself, knowing that Shannon was in no real mental state to really deal with a conversation. "It's time for you to come back to me, Shannon."

This was comfortable, too. While everything else seemed very muted, he heard his Dom, his Eli, very well. He moved easily with the motion, shifting automatically to follow the order as best he could and get himself arranged in some place where everything stayed quiet. His eyelids were already closed, he could feel them, and it seemed like the rest of his body was not far behind. One thing that seemed determined to disturb his rest was the shiver running down his body as the cold started to settle in.

"Eli," Shannon murmured. That was about all he could make out before he simply uttered a wordless mmm as if in response. If his Eli wanted him back, who was he to deny that? But he was so tired... Surely no one would mind if he took a break between point A and point B first, right?

The moment the nerve manipulation stopped, Eli adjusted both hands so that he could pick Shannon up and move off the bed. Once he got to that point, he pulled down the sheets and put Shannon back on the bed before covering him with the sheets and sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him. He put on a soft smile and spoke with a tone that matched it. "You don't need to stay awake, okay? Just go to sleep and we can talk about this later," he said before he kissed him on the forehead.

Ah, this was what he wanted. Of course Eli would take care of it even now. He reached out with a leaden arm and placed a hand somewhere along Eli's thigh or arm or whichever was closer, he couldn't really tell. He just wanted to stay in contact even if he was going to fall asleep in a matter of moments. His breathing softened into the steady rhythm of slumber, where he was determined to stay — not for the entire day, but enough to recharge himself to function, a half an hour to an hour or so. Shannon didn't want to miss the rest of the day, after all. He was just so... spent after that intense session.

For a moment after Shannon fell asleep, Eli stayed with him, watching him sleep with a content smile. Things hadn't gone exactly to plan, but he was happy with how things turned out in the end. He wasn't sure what Shannon thought of it all, though he'd know once they had the chance to talk about it. Until then, Eli would let Shannon sleep it off.

There were things Eli still needed to take care of before he could relax with Shannon, so he gently removed his hand and moved off the bed. He then quietly started cleaning up, picking up the restraints and rope along with his gloves and jacket to put into his bag before leaving the room to take care of some other things. A few minutes later, Eli returned wearing his normal clothes and was carrying Shannon's clothes, now folded up, in his hands. He placed the clothes on a side table and then Eli got into bed beside Shannon, curling against him and closing his eyes, not sleeping but just wanting to rest a bit before Shannon wakes up.

When Shannon finally started to stir, it was with some reluctance that he rejoined the world. He was still quite tired, too wired to go back to sleep as his internal clock insisted it was far too early for bed. He laid still for a moment, eyes blinking into the darkness while he breathed, then grinned when he recognized the signals. Eli there in the bed with him, his scent filling the air and his warmth crowded about in front of him. Shannon really didn't know how he had expected things to end, but that scene had definitely been beyond his expectations in more ways than one.

"So," he said, voice laced with sleep and amusement. "Was that as good for you as it was for me?"

There's a soft groan from Eli when he heard what Shannon said and was tempted to turn away from him at that, but seemed to convince himself otherwise as he stayed put, even though he wasn't quite as curled up with him as he was to begin with. Still, he was staying close and watching him carefully.

"You are terrible sometimes, did you know that? Like really, really terrible," he replied, his voice definitely sounding amused. "I'll take that as a yes to you enjoying it."

"You already knew that," Shannon said plainly. He shifted onto his side, then reached around to put an arm over Eli to keep him close. Even if they were done with their game for the day, he still wanted Eli near him.

At the question, he gave a laugh. "Yeah, I did. It was... wow, not what I expected, but it was a great trip. Which, by the way," he added, shifting his hand to locate Eli's nose and tweak it, "that was pretty low."

"Yes, but I thought it bears repeating," Eli responded with a slight shrug. There was no attempt to stop Shannon's arm nor any kind of moving out of the way. If Shannon wanted him close, then Eli would stay close.

He ducked his head down after the nose tweaking, seeming embarrassed. "Sorry about that. It was the first thing that came to mind that I could use to take away any semblance of control that you had. I needed you in a certain mindset."

Shannon rolled his eyes at that and shifted closer so that he could properly embrace Eli. He was too tired to actually sit up and talk, but they could certainly stay like this for a while longer. Memories of ghosted touches made him grin softly and he placed a kiss along Eli's temple.

"That's what you wanted?" he asked. Not that it wasn't amazing both for how foreign it was, but just how freeing it was, but Shannon knew there was no way he could give up control like that so easily. Maybe Eli had a point in doing something so extreme to gain an equal reaction. "Is that how it usually goes? Everything before was just... what, prep?"

At the kiss on his temple, Eli put his arm around Shannon and held him. It was nice, just being here with Shannon after their scene. They were just themselves again and Eli liked it. Being a Dom was tiring and while he enjoyed it while doing it, he was always glad to be back to himself afterwards.

"Well, something like it. I think I pulled you in too far, especially for your first time," he answered calmly. It had definitely been a worry and it was a good thing that Eli had been keeping an eye on him to make sure nothing dangerous happened to him during it. "No, it's not usually that...drastic. Everything before was mostly ground rules and trying to get a feel for how you'd be. If you didn't notice, you're bit of a stubborn ass, hence the drastic measures."

Edited 2014-03-17 03:15 (UTC)

Shannon hummed quietly at that, thoughts taken up by what had happened and trying to figure out what Eli had been going for instead. Something like that but less... desperate, perhaps? It had certainly driven all ideas about control from his mind when he'd given himself up to Eli like that. It was probably some kind of balance that needed to be struck.

"So when we try again, it'll be more like that end half than the first half? Just not as much?" There was only a grin afterward when he replied, "It's like you know me or something. You're not getting an apology, though, you knew I'd be difficult going in."

"That's about right. You're supposed to be pliable and willing, not...frenzied? I think that's the right word for it." Despite the fact that he had been in the mental space he was trying to get Shannon into himself, it was hard to explain to him what it was really like. He let out a soft snort at the second part of that, seeming amused. "If I knew it was going to be this difficult getting you to submit, I would have brought out the rack and whip. Well, if you were okay with me doing that, of course."

"Definitely frenzied," Shannon agreed. It was difficult to really analyze the state he had been in, having been too far gone to really pay attention to anything but Eli. 'Anything' including himself. Still, it hadn't been a horrible experience. If things were supposed to be more sedate than that, but still just as fun and intimate... then, yeah. He definitely wanted another go at it.

Pulling back, Shannon directed a look toward Eli. "Just so you know, the rack and whip sounds like a really terrible dance move. But, uh, you think that would help? Whipping?

"Besides the frenzied bit, what did you think of it, the whole letting yourself go bit?" There hadn't been a negative yet, but he still wanted to know for sure that Shannon liked it and would be willing to try something similar to it again.

"For you? I don't know. It might help you focus or you might not like it and get even more defensive," he said easily. He honestly didn't know how Shannon would react to it and it would have to be something to test before they really went anywhere with it. "If it pushes you too far, it might even make you go Dom on me and that would be hard to handle."

"It was terrifying," Shannon said honestly. There was no two ways around it: the moments between losing his control and then giving it up and definitely strained at his nerves. He tilted his head further into the pillow. "But... at the same time, I never really felt safer than that, when I didn't have to worry about my own control."

There was a thoughtful pause, somewhat hindered by his still sleepy-mind not ready to finish waking up yet. "Well, to be quite honest, I've never really considered how I might take to getting whipped other than fuck no because hey, whipping usually means torture. So that one's up in the air. What do you mean, go Dom on you?"

"I understand," he said softly, thinking on his response. "If given the chance, would you like it to happen again? Hopefully not by inducing it in the same way. It's not supposed to be terrifying. If the Dom's doing it right, it's like falling back into their arms. Which means that I probably did it wrong."

He moved his hand up to the base of Shannon's neck where it met with his back and placed his finger on his spine. "That's not much of a surprise. Unless you're hiding things from me about your previous relationships, I doubt you were much into kinky things. Pain intended to hurt is a far different thing than pain intended for pleasure. For example," he said and then took his finger and started to scratch down along his spine, hard enough to hurt but not nearly enough to be outright painful, "there's this. How does that feel to you?"

There's a bit of a sigh from Eli as he looked at Shannon. "Exactly what I said. You'd switch and be a Dom instead of a sub. I did mentioned switches to you beforehand. I'm one and from our scene, I can tell you're one too because you went Dom on me."

"It's a learning curve," Shannon said with a small shrug. "We're all special, unique snowflakes, right? With different triggers and reactions. So... yeah. I'd try it again long as you can think of some other way to make it happen."

Shannon exhaled, making a sound almost like a grunt at the unexpected motion, back arching automatically from the light scraping as Eli made his way down. "Oh," he said softly. It had lit a small fire underneath him, a moment of waking nerves in a very good away, and Shannon let the feeling linger while he thought that through. "Not lying to you," he replied with some amusement, "but I kinda get what you mean now. Whips do that, too?"

Eli's sigh was matched with a frown. "I went Dom on you? When? What'd I do?"

"That's right. We can work through finding a proper trigger that isn't nearly as intense for you. Thank you for giving me another chance." It's definitely hard to tell that Eli's the Dom here when he acts like this, but he's always been full of surprises.

"Same concept, but different sensation. It's easy to go into hurting someone and causing permanent injuries if you don't know how to use it. Thankfully for you, I know how." He had stopped the scratching and instead was now running his finger up and down his spine gently. The spine was his favorite part of the human body and he had no problems letting Shannon know that.

"You did. It was only for a moment, but when you said my name, I lost control for a moment," he said, his voice tinged with embarrassment. To let Shannon know that he had lost control was a sign of weakness he should never mention, but he needed and wanted to know.

Shannon merely rubbed his hand up and down Eli's arm with a soft smile. "Considering how much of a chance you gave me? This isn't anything. I'm sure we'll figure something out."

"Didn't think you'd suggest it if you didn't know how," he said simply. He definitely looked to be appreciating the motion, eyes closing for a moment while he absorbed it and told himself it was not the time to go back to sleep. He still had the rest of the day to face.

That bit of information inspired a frown. "When I... oh. Oh. Sorry. I wasn't thinking." Quite literally, in all actuality. His brain had been pretty damn blank at the time.

The motion made Eli smile and snuggle up closer to him. Eli loved to snuggle with him and since he didn't get to nap while Shannon was out, the heat of his body was making him drowsy. "We always do."

That made him laugh softly. "That's true. I wouldn't suggest anything I don't know how to do."

"I know. I'm not angry at you. We just have to work on that," he responded calmly and yawned. "Next time, we'll definitely work on that and everything else."

When Eli moved closer, Shannon took it as invitation to wrap his arm around his boyfriend. He shifted a bit so he could tuck Eli's head up under his chin and essentially cocoon him in his warmth and make him comfortable. It was one of the best uses of his atypical natural temperature: snuggling up with loved ones. Eli's yawn did not go unnoticed, but Shannon was going to let him settle down on his own time.

"Speaking of next time... When will that be? Are there rules for this kind of thing?" he asked curiously. The whole activity in general seemed pretty mired in rules for good reason. Why would this be different?

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